Heighten the happiness quotient
The prerogative of parents and teachers is to keep their children happy with a ceaseless sense of excitement and curiosity constantly brewing within them. The sad or rather unfortunate part is that we as adults have forgotten the meaning of happiness ourselves.
A good game of chess, an energetic experience of badminton or a basketball match, a simple kho kho or seven tiles thrill is all amiss these days. Remember your days (Parents) of how each of these things made you happy. Apart from each of these – a heart to heart chat with your mom, your best friend, your teacher gave you a reassurance that all is good and what is not will soon be sorted. Today it’s about video chats, conference calls, whatsapp messages and calls, IMO – the works. Virtuality vs Reality is becoming a fixture in every possible scenario. You’ve gone out holidaying with your children, each one is busy with his or her mobile. Beautiful landscape–instead of enjoying it selfie–photography is what one is indulging in. A lovely family meal in a good restaurant and everybody is busy clicking pictures and texting messages and lo behold living the moment, celebrating the experience is somewhere lost and forgotten.
Interruption of any kind while you are texting, sending a mail on your laptop or your cell phone is a serious impediment which ends up disrupting your peace of mind, making you snappy and ballistic. Doesn’t your child have a right to ask you questions, share his joy and worries as and when? You are supposed to accommodate all of this with a smile on your face with pure concern and compassion – everything else can wait.
Your non-participative approach is making your child a recluse. You are clueless about what is going on in his/her mind. He or she succumbs to depression, psychosomatic ailments owing to lack of attention. His/ her behaviour patterns are disruptive, self destructive and converge towards deliberate attention seeking. Always remember no counsellor can be better for your child other than you – yourself. You need to understand him/ her, participate and involve yourself in all of his/ her activities, spend quality time with your children and chat them up on a regular basis to be able to fulfil your responsibility of a good parent/good teacher. Unnecessary pressures, passing on your stress, agitation and frustration to your children can be devastating. Ridiculing, scorning reprimanding in a demeaning manner can be damaging and dangerous. Children need to be made to feel special and unique like no other all the time. Encouragement and motivation can really move mountains. One has to lead by example to enable our children to emulate virtues, code of conduct, poise, dignity and integrity inclusive of self respect. Stories and examples from common life and from the lives of great men can be very inspiring for them to ignite their minds and to give them a sense of firm direction and focus. Patience, Endeavour, Tolerance and Perseverance have to be displayed by us for our children to imbibe and
incorporate into their behaviour of conducting themselves in society at large among the members of their peer group and most importantly within the family.
Fear factor is obsolete when it comes to training children these days. Intimidation, generating fear, alienation will certainly not help. Instead alignment, setting standards for oneself like those of courtesy, punctuality, loyalty and responsibility will have an impacting influence on our children.
Let us lead by example, showcasing ourselves with virtues ample.
Reach out from within and take a peek therein.
Connect with your soul and guide them towards their goals.
No fear, No scorn, No ridicule, No intimidation,
It has to be encouragement, a pat on the back and only motivation.
Whenever high or low, see that there is no row.
All should be peaceful and happy,
There is just no need to be rude and snappy.
Parenting and teaching are divine responsibilities,
Shaping the future of the world rests on the twin authorities.
Care and connect with compassion and courage,
Constantly be there to motivate and encourage.
Life’s battles will all be fought
If parent- child, teacher- taught, give each other a patient listening and thought.
For not everything can be sold nor can everything be bought.
Needless to say
Our children are priceless,
Let us cherish them with joy and happiness
Nurture them and educate them
With compassion, care and a heart magnanimous.
Vera Hajela (Principal City Montessori School, Station Road Campus, Lucknow) M.A. B.Ed and DPA has 22 years of teaching experience which includes teaching of English in the ISC Section in City Montessori School, Lucknow. She was awarded the Woman of the year Award in I.T. College in 1980 and is the 2nd position holder in her Masters from Lucknow University. She is a gold medalist in Public Administration from Lucknow University. She has won many prizes in debates and elocution throughout her student life. Her life is devoted to the education of children and building their future.