Fostering Emotional Intelligence
Our education system needs a change. It trains students to earn marks and degrees but fails to prepare themfor life and the real world. These words are echoing all over in schools as well as colleges.
~by Meenu Bhargava
Should we take our students beyond textbooks and teach them values, positive attitude and life-skills? Yes.
In school, we are taught a lesson and then given a test but life gives us a test which teaches us a lesson. Is life our best teacher? Yes.
Our uniqueness, our life experiences shape us as the persons we are today. Most of us are raised with the fear of failure. We are scared to try something new due to the fear to fail. We lack self-belief, confidence, determination and faith.
Failure is part of everyone’s life. Sometimes we fail to learn a game, learn a language, few fail to write a story, some fail to maintain good health in spite of their best efforts. In life, we fail to make right decisions, choose suitable jobs, fail to adjust to our life-partner, earn good money but more than the failure, our attitude towards it matters. Not being emotionally strong, many people succumb to this pressure of failure and lose hope and take drastic steps or become depressed.
Helen Keller rightly says, “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”
Sometimes life gives us very bitter experiences where we feel all doors closed and that is the phase of life which we fail to handle. Our earning of high degrees or high positions also hold no value in that tough phase of life. Being frustrated, we lose our calm and peace. We become irrational and act irresponsibly and our soul, body and mind’s harmony is lost. These are the phases of life where we require a lot of patience. We cannot change unfavourable circumstances but can control our negative ways to respond. It is of course not easy as said but tough time teaches us many lessons and connects us to our real self.
One has to experience some sadness to know the value of happiness. A problem free life never makes a skilful person. Every problem carries wonderful opportunities. It is this positive attitude that helps a person to pass that tough phase of life. Focusing on our blessings and thinking of those people who are not as lucky as we; teaches us peace and contentment.
We need to bring back the strong network of relationships, the practice of yoga and meditation, our engagement in physical activities and creativity, belief in God, self-control and wisdom to face these modern age dilemma and our stand in this materialistic world.
It is very rightly said:
Smooth roads never make a skilful driver
Smooth sea never makes a skilful sailor
Clear sky never makes a skilful pilot
Arthur Robert Ashe’s story
Arthur Robert Ashe, Jr., the legendary Wimbledon player was a prominent African American tennis player who was born and raised in USA. He was dying of Aids. From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed: “Why did God to select you for such a bad disease?”
To this Arthur Robert Ashe, Jr. Replied:
The world over
5 crore children start playing tennis,
50 lakh learn to play tennis,
5 lakh learn professional tennis,
50,000 come to the circuit,
5000 reach the grand slam titles,
50 reach Wimbledon,
4 to Semifinal,
2 to the finals.
When I was holding a cup I never asked god “why me?”
And today in pain I should not be asking god “why me?”
Be thankful to god for 99.99% of good things in life.
Arthur Ashe said, “When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.”
Life is not the same every day. Ups and downs in life are inevitable. The road is not even. Setbacks are like speed breakers which we can neither avoid nor ignore but only take caution.
Fear of people is another illness that grips our mind and does not allow us to think rationally or act responsibly. Our happiness is conditioned to praises from people or wealth or beauty or status which is very wrong. Being dependent on one or more of these and then losing them sometime fills us with extreme sadness or guilt, aggression or regret or other immature reactions.
Our education system, our teachers, our parents and our society all pressurize us to earn good marks and attain good jobs but we also need to inculcate in us the inner strengths, the courage and skills which are required to face the day to day challenges of our lives. The competition is increasing day by day, the expectations of parents are very high with their children and themselves, the threat to our lives are many but what we need are the skills to cope up with these stressful situations and problems.
Meenu Bhargava is a Post Graduate in Psychology & is presently working as freelance trainer. She did her PG Diploma in Educational and Vocational Guidance & Counseling from NCERT Delhi in 1985 with distinction. She has total 35 years of work experience. She is a Life-skills trainer and Coach to teachers, parents andstudents. Meenu has trained 20,000+teachers andstudents in last 8 years in more than 400 schools and colleges all over India. The best quality for which she has always been appreciated is her desire to keep upgrading herself and herpassion, dedication and creativity.