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Emotional intelligence – an empowering imperative

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September 21, 2018

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Emotional intelligence – an empowering imperative

Family time is fun time together on each one’s exclusive cell phone, laptop or tab. Family holiday is pictures taken and posted immediately on social media. Family weekend outing is all at the table with a cell phone each, pictures and posts again.


With social media latching on to each and every mortal like an epidemic, there is a need to awaken the true spirit of real existence among the homosapiens. The excitement of writing and receiving letters is a long lost art of a bygone era. Messages on Whatsapp or a regular message have been further reduced to minimalistic expression thanks to abbreviated language usage. Posts on facebook and instagram, likes and comments seem to be restricted to a popularity poll or let’s say a public display of arrival, acquisition or allurement to say the least. This is what our children are getting habitual to for no fault of theirs. For all the summons and lectures on abstaining and refraining from screen addiction the adults around them are subscribing to the same kind of indulgence with a vengeance.

Family time is fun time together on each one’s exclusive cell phone, laptop or tab. Family holiday is pictures taken and posted immediately on social media. Family weekend outing is all at the table with a cell phone each, pictures and posts again.

When is an individual actually absorbing the sense of enjoyment deep within? It has all come to superfluous and superficial status showcasing.

A touching note, a heart to heart conversation, storytelling, letter writing, sharing of experiences, admiring nature and absorbing its beauty reaching out to a person in pain, lending a helping hand as and when required, seem to be depleting faster than the rate of ozone depletion.

A warm smile, a tear rolling down one’s cheek on listening to a tale have become rare sights, instead what one sees around is anger, aggression, angst, ire and intolerance. Patience is archaic and endurance is soon becoming obsolete. Language (colloquial) is jarring and laced with inappropriate jargon.

One can’t sit pretty and attribute this dismal scenario to it being a Gen Next thing. Human emotions have to be kept intact. Emotional connect, bonding, equation chemistry, compassion and care among children, the feeling of bonhomie, cozy comfort, warmth, love and affection true and devoid of materialistic manipulation have to be generated. EQ has to be raised, souls have to be stirred, forgive and forget, cure and endure, internalize and introspect exercises have to be reintroduced.

In today’s world where there is so much stress in terms of cut throat competition, peer pressure, parental pressure, the perennial hurry to get to the top – one has to be emotionally intelligent to cope with stress, with change and an unsaid parameter of expectation from all concerned. As is rightly said – ‘Emotional Intelligence is the ability to sense, understand and effectively apply the power and acumen of emotions as a source of human energy, information, connection and influence.’

The importance of emotional intelligence comes to surface when we are unable to adjust with a new group of students in a different environment. A positive approach devoid of judgment of individuals is an important lesson which needs to be driven home. Not everybody can be of your liking and choice. The world is full of different people; you need to accept others the way they are. Befriending a person is your choice but ticking off certainly isn’t.

When it comes to adjustment and adaptability in the ‘hostel context’, children need to know that one has to reach out to others and then expect reciprocity for the same. Self pity, slipping into depression, ‘Why me?’ syndrome – needs to be avoided.

Academic excellence has everything to do with emotional intelligence. A person who is emotionally intelligent is bound to have a balanced mindset. He or she can ably handle pressures, deadlines, said and unsaid expectations both at home and school. Low emotional intelligence leads to distractions both physical and mental. Aggression is a byproduct in such a case due to inability to communicate and manage emotions appropriately. This is where overindulgence on screens (Mobiles and Computers) work like the last straw on the camel’s back.

Needless to say adults will have to lead by example. Progress + Change + Technology = Closer and Faster Connect. Virtual connect is convenience but Real connect is conviction.

Let us teach our children values and emotions of trust, loyalty, honesty, empathy and integrity. Let our children not be members of a bandwagon of you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all. Let each child stand out like an emotional pillar of strength for the other. Let there be no sense of depression and oppression. Let there be joy all around with a sense of celebration. Our children need to respect the sentiments of others, to respect all elders, to reach out to others at all times and above all they need to respect themselves, their individuality, uniqueness and strengths.

Our children have to be emotionally rich and strong with the ability to respect space without getting invasive and at the same time sensitive enough to share space and not get elusive.


Vera HajelaVera Hajela (Principal City Montessori School, Station Road Campus, Lucknow) M.A. B.Ed and DPA has 22 years of teaching experience which includes teaching of English in the ISC Section in City Montessori School, Lucknow. She was awarded the Woman of the year Award in I.T. College in 1980 and is the 2nd position holder in her Masters from Lucknow University. She is a gold medalist in Public Administration from Lucknow University. She has won many prizes in debates and elocution throughout her student life. Her life is devoted to the education of children and building their future.

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